Surgeon General warns Booty-Os may not ensure you ain't booty - Kayfabe News twitter google

Surgeon General warns Booty-Os may not ensure you ain’t booty


A warning label has been added to every box of Booty-Os to advise against false claims of unbootification.

Despite repeated claims by wrestling trio The New Day that breakfast cereal Booty-Os will “make you sure ain’t booty,” the U.S. Surgeon General has insisted a warning label be added to boxes of the sugary treat.

“Product may not ensure you ain’t booty,” reads the warning label, which covers part of Big E’s ample bosom.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has not approved the anti-booty claims of the cereal, and issued a statement today insisting that “members of the New Day have been issued a cease-and-desist letter regarding such dubious claims.”

While some consumers of the cereal have reported feeling less booty, such evidence of efficacy is purely anecdotal and is not backed up by rigorousĀ scientific study.

This is not the first time The New Day have courted controversy; the American Museum of Natural History issued a statement last month clarifying that “unicorns do not exist,” and that The New Day “should stop infecting the minds of youth with such pseudoscience.”

The World Trombone Alliance, meanwhile, has requested that Xavier Woods “cease befouling the good reputation of the noble instrument.”

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