After foolishly following the advice of his favorite professional wrestler, a Tallahassee man spent several hours in a local hospital, where doctors turned a sumbitch lengthwise and removed it from his candy-ass.

Thirty-nine-year-old Kevin Drombowski admits he got “a bit carried away” when watching a segment on the WWE Network in which wrestler-turned-Hollywood-star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson provided step-by-step instructions for inserting various objects into one’s rectum.

During the 1998 in-ring interview (or “promo”), The Rock said: “Shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass.”

Drombowski, who happened to be holding his television remote control at the time, shined the device with a damp towel, turned that sumbitch sideways, and excruciatingly violated his own backside in unthinking allegiance to his hero.

The remote was no longer shined-up real nice when a surgeon removed it from Drombowski’s posterior.

The Rock’s obsession with anal penetration has yet to be fully explained, though numerous x-rated fan-fiction websites explore the topic at great length.