Iconic professional wrestler Sting will be out of action for at least two months after accidentally dropping a 700-pound statue of rival Seth Rollins on his left foot.
Sting was hospitalized early this morning after trying to lug the cast-iron effigy of Rollins, which he stole several weeks ago during a particularly nonsensical segment of WWE Raw, through LAX airport.
When asked by airport security to hoist the statue on the X-ray conveyor belt, it slipped through Sting’s fingers, which were greasy with face paint.
“Owwwww!” hollered Sting, which a number of nearby fans mistook for his trademark war-cry and shouted back, causing a ruckus at the airport that some mistook for a terrorist threat.
Sting’s leg will remain in a cast for at least eight weeks, and he is under strict doctor’s orders to refrain from swinging baseball bats or descending from rafters.
The statue was returned to WWE’s Connecticut headquarters, where writers are considering repackaging it as a new member of the Wyatt Family.