Hoping to breathe new life into his professional wrestling career, lily-skinned Irish brawler Sheamus has donned a turban and re-packaged himself as Ginger Mahal. 

The carrot-topped combatant found himself languishing in WWE’s mid-card doldrums in a tag team with Cesaro, so he unveiled today the different — and borderline offensive — Indian alter-ego.

“I’m the modern-day Mahara-fella,” he hollered while making his way to the ring at a recent event, accompanied by sitar music. 

Sheamus is merely trying to cash in on the success of WWE Champion Jinder Mahal, but appears to have only a rudimentary understanding of Indian culture. Among the changes to his persona:

  • The Brogue Kick has been renamed The Bollywood Boot
  • The Cloverleaf has been renamed The Curry Clutch
  • His nickname, The Celtic Warrior, has been changed to His Highness Maharaj Shri Rajendrasinhji Jadeja King of Nawanagar State

In related news, zccording to backstage sources, WWE will soon repackage Roman Reigns a bald-headed, bear-swilling, Texas redneck

 

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