World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today that Shane McMahon — who was beaten by the Undertaker at WrestleMania, thereby losing the opportunity to run Monday Night Raw — will run Raw for the second consecutive week.
“Stipulations?” chortled WWE Chairman Vince McMahon during a press conference this morning. “I don’t recall there being any stipulations on Undertaker-versus-Shane.”
The Hell in a Cell showdown between The Undertaker and the younger McMahon was ostensibly the main event of WrestleMania, in large part because the stakes — Undertaker’s career vs. the McMahon legacy — seemed so high.
“Nope,” added McMahon. “We never said anything about career-versus-legacy. Wait, wasn’t it a haircut match?”
Of course, WWE fans should know better by now, given that “retirement matches” typically turn out to be “temporary hiatus matches,” and that “listening to the WWE Universe” results in Roman Reigns becoming champion.
On next week’s Raw, General Manager Shane McMahon will announce a “Once in a Lifetime” match pitting Shawn Michaels against Ric Flair.