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Schyster audits DiBiase

dibiase schyster

Irwin R. Schyster (left) is performing a complicated tax audit on former partner Ted DiBiase

A longtime friendship took an unexpected twist when professional wrestler and tax collector Irwin R. Schyster was required to perform an audit on former tag team partner Ted DiBiase.

“It is my duty, in compliance with my duties as a representative for the Internal Revenue Service, to perform a thorough audit on the tax statements of Mr. DiBiase,” said Schyster, whose initials, purely by coincidence, happen to be I.R.S.

DiBiase, who is known colloquially as The Million Dollar Man, is suspected of having falsified several aspects of his 2012 tax return, according to an anonymous source.

Having completed the initial assessment of the audit, Schyster says “several glaring problems” have emerged, such as a missing employment record for a personal assistant known as Virgil.

“Mr. DiBiase also failed to provide a receipt for The Million Dollar Belt, which he wrote off as a business expense,” said Schyster.

“If the belt is indeed worth one million dollars, it must be declared under section 12.7.2(b) of U.S. tax code.”

The audit has apparently driven a wedge between DiBiase and Schyster, who were a successful wrestling tag team known as Money Inc. in the 1990s.

As a result, tensions are reportedly high between their sons Ted DiBiase Jr. and Bray Wyatt. ¬†Schyster’s other son, Bo Dallas, is still too young to understand what’s going on.

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