Jed McCreary, an unabashed bigot who claims that multiculturalism is “bad for ‘murica,” has been wracked by inner turmoil ever since realizing that he is a huge fan of WWE tag team The New Day.
McCreary, who is known to hurl racial slurs at non-white passersby from his Confederate flag-bedecked pickup truck, is deeply confused by his love of Xavier Woods, Big E, and Kofi Kingston.
“Dang, them boys is hi-larious,” he said to himself while watching WWE Raw at his local drinking establishment.
“I mean, I wouldn’t want one of ’em marryin’ my sister, but… aw hell, maybe I would. New… Day rocks.”
McCreary admits he was leery of The New Day at first, as were the vast majority of wrestling fans, but says he just can’t resist “that funny tromboner.”
The realization that he loves The New Day has led McCreary to question whether his dislike of an entire race has been misguided, and whether he himself might actually just be a moron.