Primatologists teach Lesnar to communicate with basic sign language - Kayfabe News twitter google

Primatologists teach Lesnar to communicate with basic sign language

Brock Lesnar

Harvard primatologists observe Brock Lesnar in his protective habitat.

Harvard primatologists made an important breakthrough this month when they taught professional wrestler Brock Lesnar to communicate simple words and phrases through sign language.

“It’s an astounding leap forward in our understanding of primate psychology and communication,” wrote primatologist Dr. Reginald Pattinson in the latest edition of The American Journal of Primate Research.

“We truly did not expect Brock would ever successfully communicate with a human.”

Lesnar, who had previously only been able to communicate via incomprehensible grunts and violent outbursts, used simple gestures to convey his feelings to researchers.

“Me hungry,” Lesnar conveyed. “Food go mouth. After food, lift heavy thing.”

News of the discovery was bittersweet for wrestling manager Paul Heyman, who for years has served as as an interpreter and mouthpiece for Lesnar.

“I’ve always wondered what has gone on inside Brock’s big, thick noggin,” Heyman said. “Sadly, I guess he won’t be needing me anymore.”

Although Lesnar has successfully communicated more than two-dozen phrases, including his most complex expression to date: “Chest knife ink regret. Brock sad. Brock anger. Wrestling boss F5!”

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