Wrestling promoter and personality Paul Heyman had a self-described “epiphany moment” yesterday when he realized that his ever-present baseball cap hasn’t prevented anyone from knowing he is bald.
“It just dawned on me in a moment of pure clarity,” Heyman told Kayfabe News. “Most people know I’m bald, even if I wear a baseball cap, because most people aren’t mentally retarded.”
Feeling suddenly liberated, Heyman removed his black ball cap and went for a walk, proudly exposing his gleaming skullet — which he had previously presumed was a well-guarded secret — to the world.
He was delighted when friends and family treated him exactly the same way as they always had, confirming Heyman’s suspicion that the ball cap had been a useless subterfuge all along.
Heyman is reportedly considering cutting off his stringy ponytail.
“I previously thought a ponytail sticking out from under my hat might lead people to believe I had a full, lush head of hair,” he said. “But I guess people will see through that ruse too.”