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Orton beaten to the ring by tortoise

Randy orton entrance

Randy Orton is passed by a tortoise moving at a relatively quick 0.012 MPH.

Professional wrestler Randy Orton’s career took a bizarre twist yesterday when the notoriously slow walker was beaten to the ring by an African land tortoise.

Though it is unclear why the tortoise was at the WWE event, or how it made its way to the entrance ramp, the hard-shelled land-dwelling reptile made it to the ring a full three minutes before Orton.

The 94-year-old tortoise, which had previously beaten a hare in a well-publicized race (thanks to the tortoise’s slow-and-steady pacing), has long been a symbol of moderation and perseverance.

Getting to the ring faster than Orton, however, was merely the result of Orton’s impossibly slow-footed ring approaches.

According to some reports, Orton has even considered just standing still and waiting for the ring to come to him.

Orton was shocked to see the tortoise outpace him, and later reported that the animal came “outta nowhere.”

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