McMahon vows to boost Raw ratings tonight by sacrificing this lamb - Kayfabe News twitter google

McMahon vows to boost Raw ratings tonight by sacrificing this lamb

lamb sacrifice

The ritualistic slaughter of this lamb, Snowball, will be “ratings gold,” says Vince McMahon.

Amid a stretch of declining ratings for Monday Night Raw, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon has vowed to boost viewership tonight with the sacrifice of the lamb pictured here.

McMahon abducted the four-month-old Lamb, named Snowflake, this afternoon from a Connecticut farm, and intends to perform a ritualistic sacrifice during the second hour of Raw, when ratings tend to dip.

A scheduled match pitting Kevin Owens against Dean Ambrose has been cancelled to allow time for the slaughter.

Though he is not a practicing Satanist, McMahon is known to have dabbled in the black arts ever since selling his soul to the devil in 1984 in exchange for a pro wrestling monopoly.

McMahon will use a ceremonial sword to slit Snowball’s throat — a sword McMahon has been eager to used ever since it was last seen in the Kai En Tai “choppy-choppy your pee-pee” segment.

Share This on Facebook

Follow Kayfabe News

Kayfabe :

The lost art of keeping a secret in professional wrestling.

Kayfabe News :

Unreal news about an unreal sport.