As excitement builds for this weekend’s World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) pay-per-view Great Balls of Fire, documents leaked from WWE headquarters reveal that company Chairman Vince McMahon originally insisted the event be called Enormous Flaming Testes. 

“Goddammit, who the hell changed the name to a ’50s rock and roll song title?!” reads a leaked email attributed to McMahon. “Quite frankly, I’m gonna fire somebody for this, quite frankly.”

The documents reveal that McMahon considered several names for the event, all of which alluded to oversized, overheated gonads.

Among the other names McMahon suggested:

• Colossal Nads Ablaze
• Conflagrant Gargantuan Bollocks
• Brobdingnagian Burning Babymakers
• Gigantic Flaming Grapefruits

McMahon’s recommendations were reportedly vetoed by WWE’s writing staff, none of whom are old enough to realize that “Great Balls of Fire” is a classic Jerry Lee Lewis song and, by extension, a preposterous name for a pro wrestling event. 

 

WEAR ONE OF THESE TO YOUR NEXT WRESTLING SHOW. YOU’LL GET A LOT OF HIGH-FIVES: