The Board of Directors of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) voted unanimously today to end the long tenure of Chairman Vincent K. McMahon over his public arrest on live television yesterday.

The board assembled for an emergency meeting at WWE’s Connecticut headquarters today after an irate McMahon was temporarily incarcerated for assaulting a police officer during a broadcast Monday Night Raw.

“We wish Mr. McMahon the best on his future endeavors,” reads a terse statement issued this morning by the board of directors.

McMahon’s termination ends a four-decade tenure as the most successful promoter in wrestling history, whose brash marketing savvy made household names out of The Rock, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, and “Real American” [NAME REDACTED].

Although the board was willing to overlook McMahon’s questionable behavior in the past — challenging God to a fight (and winning), orchestrating the kidnapping of his own daughter, associating with Donald Trump — this week’s arrest was evidently a deal-breaker.

McMahon briefly spoke with reporters this morning, insisting he will appeal the decision by lodging a complaint with WWE Human Resources — but that may prove difficult since every employee in that department has been forced, at one point or another, to kiss McMahon’s bare posterior.

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