Professional wrestler and intergalactic space warrior Maximilian Moon — or Max Moon to his friends and starship colleagues — is eagerly anticipating his invitation to participate in the 1,000th episode of Monday Night Raw.
“I deserve to be there,” said Moon, who battled valiantly but unsuccessfully against Shawn Michaels on the very first episode of Raw in January 1993. “And it’s what the fans want.”
Though he is currently 7.3 million light years away from Earth, jobbing to the mid-card performers on the Triangulum Galaxy Cosmic Wrestling Federation (TGCWF), Moon said he could easily get back to earth for the milestone 1,000th Raw on July 23.
“My jetpack is all fueled-up,” he said. “My puffy kneepads have just been restuffed, and I just got by fake dreadlocks re-braided. I’m ready.”
Moon has sent several intergalactic communications to WWE headquarters in Connecticut, but has yet to get a response, which he blames on “solar flare distortion or something.”