After another year of suspended animation in a cryogenic chamber, geriatric former wrestler Mae Young has been revived for her annual backstage skit at WrestleMania.
“Who are you?” the octogenarian Young asked the doctors who thawed her yesterday at Miami’s CryoTech Labs, where she has been kept alive against God’s will. “What’s going on?”
Through chattering dentures, she then added: “Oh please, no. No more WrestleManias.”
Young has been carefully transported to New Jersey’s MetLife Stadium, where she has been clothed in specially made lingerie and forced to rehearse a backstage skit in which she makes persistent sexual advances on Mean Gene Okerlund.
The purpose of the skit, according to sources within WWE, is to kill time while the Undertaker’s pyrotechnics are being set up — and, of course, to mock the elderly.
Young has reportedly been disoriented and bewildered during the rehearsals, and repeatedly demanded to see her “baby hand.”