Luger sets out in Lex Express to campaign against Rusev - Kayfabe News twitter google

Luger sets out in Lex Express to campaign against Rusev

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Lex Luger relaxes on the Lex Express, biding his time before vanquishing the nefarious Rusev.

In a noble display of patriotism, former professional wrestler Lex Luger has once again set out on a cross-country bus tour to rally American pride and speak out against dastardly Russian (well, Bulgarian) Rusev.

Luger is undeterred that the so-called Lex Express, a once-luxurious coach bedecked with the stars and stripes, has seen better days: the transmission is shot, the air-conditioning doesn’t work, and became infested with possums while parked for 20 years behind WWE’s Connecticut headquarters.

What’s more, Luger cannot afford to pay a driver — and WWE has refused to subsidize or endorse the bus journey in any way — so Luger is driving himself across country.

“None of that matters,” says the ever-optimistic (some would say narcissistic) Luger, whose once-rippling muscles have all but vanished under his leathery skin.

“What matters is that we put a stop to that evil commie and show him that America is the best country on earth — except for maybe Canada.”

Luger intends to culminate the Lex Express journey by bodyslamming a cardboard cutout of Rusev on an aircraft carrier.

The US Navy, however, issued a statement today confirming that Luger’s will be shot on sight if he attempts to board the USS Intrepid.

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