No longer able to compete, injured wrestlers euthanized - Kayfabe News twitter google

No longer able to compete, injured wrestlers euthanized

WWE injuries

One of the injured wrestlers is humanely put down.

Unable to compete in the sport they were bred for, a herd of injured professional wrestlers were humanely euthanized today in accordance with WWE’s Unwellness Policy.

“It’s always a sad day when we have to put down a wrestler,” said WWE Chairman Vince McMahon during press conference at the company’s euthanasia clinic, The End-of-Performance Center.

“But ending their suffering is the most merciful thing we can do.”

A half-dozen lame-limbed wrestlers were put to sleep after a WWE’s Chief Veterinarian, Dr. Bob Ponovich, declared them unfit to return to the ring.

Following the procedure, their bodies were taken to a nearby rendering facility where they will be turned into the glue that holds together replica WWE championship belts.

A number of younger injured wrestlers were spared from euthanasia after they were deemed adoptable, and will stay at a Stamford shelter until they can be placed in a “forever home.”

Currently up for adoption are Daniel Bryan (described as as “an energetic goat who loves to bounce about”) and Sami Zayn (“a generic underdog who’ll unmask your heart”).


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