Andrew Harkins, who recently acquired his orange belt at Sensei Todd’s Family Karate Dojo in Minneapolis, confidently told friends today that he could defeat professional wrestler and former MMA champion Brock Lesnar in a fight.
“Lesnar’s big, but he has no honor,” insisted Harkins, while his friends struggled to stifle laughter.
“Karate has taught me that size is no match for integrity and heart.”
Harkins, who always pronounces it “kara-tay,” has gained great self-confidence — and a dangerous false sense of his own fighting ability — since signing up for karate lessons with his young daughter eight months ago.
He insists that Lesnar is “just a phoney-baloney pro wrestler” who could never win a real fight, and only succeeded in UFC because “those fights are all rigged too.”
Harkins hopes to attain his black belt by June, at which point he says he will “officially challenge all comers,” despite Sensei Todd’s insistence that fighting should be avoided at all costs.
Lesnar, meanwhile, reportedly mauled three grizzly bears before breakfast this morning, and then suplexed the entire population of Delaware.