In preparation for his upcoming match against Samoa Joe at WWE Great Balls of Shakin’ Goin’ On, professional wrestler and feminist poet Brock Lesnar has adopted a radical new training regimen based entirely on fidget spinners.
Lesnar has eschewed his former routine — deadlifting cement trucks, suplexing polar bears and eating live water buffalo — in favour of the handheld fad toy.
According to sources close to Lensar, he discovered fidget spinners several weeks ago and hasn’t put them down since, giggling giddily to himself for hours on end.
“My client, Brock Lesnar, had trouble focusing and concentrating at the gym until he started using fidget spinners,” said the wrestler’s advocate and life partner, Paul Heyman. “Samoa Joe is going to quickly find himself in Fidget City, bitch.”
In preparation for Lesnar’s new offense, Samoa Joe has reportedly been honing his yo-yo skills and strengthening his grip with a squishy stress ball.