Having already broken the Undertaker’s vaunted WrestleMania winning streak, professional wrestler and public intellectual Brock Lesnar vowed today to conquer the Olympic medal-winning streak of American swimming phenom Michael Phelps.
Via his advocate and mouthpiece Paul Heyman, Lesnar promised to learn how to swim, then quickly become the most dominant swimming force the world has ever seen.
Lesnar has adopted the a new nickname — The Tuna Incarnate — and has promised he will stop at nothing in his mission to take Phelps to “Breaststroke City, b*tch.”
Lesnar then emitted his trademark pterodactyl shriek and suplexed a minivan.
Some experts believe Lesnar’s body type (gigantopithacus erectus) may prevent him from slicing through a pool with the fishlike speed and grace of Phelps, who possesses a lanky frame, long fins, and gils.
But having already ascended to the pinnacle of pro wrestling and mixed martial arts, Lesnar is determined to dominate all Olympic sports — first swimming, he says, and then table tennis.