The world’s biggest particle accelerator is back in action after a two-year upgrade, and physicists believe the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) may prove the existence of a parallel WWE Universe.
Earlier today researchers resumed firing particle beams around the LHC’s 27-kilometer accelerator ring, in hopes of proving the so-called “Quantumcmahon hypothesis,” which posits an infinite number of universes, including an anti-matter WWE Universe in which storylines actually make logical sense.
According to renowned genius Lanny Poffo and collaborator Stephen Hawking, the parallel WWE Universe acts as a kind of counter-balance to our earthly WWE Universe, in order to maintain harmony and balance in the multiverse.
Theoretical physicists believe that, in this alternate reality, Parallel Michael Cole has never heard of a “WWE App,” Parallel John Cena loses matches, Parallel Roman Reigns always looks strong, and Parallel Mordecai is World Heavyweight Champion.
Other theorized inhabitants of the parallel WWE Universe include Good News Barrett, The Small Show, and a benevolent corporate boss who frequently hollers “You’re hired!”
Until now, however, the concept of a parallel WWE Universe has been rooted in pure theory, but the subatomic shrapnel that emerges at the Large Hadron Collider may provide the first tangible evidence of another dimension where promoters actually listen to fans instead of just saying they do.