Professional wrestler and former Olympic gold medalist (damn true) Kurt Angle announced at a press conference that his WWE Hall of Fame induction speech will be a rousing, 45-minute performance of Jimmy Crack Corn.
“Jimmy crack corrrrn,” hollered Angle for the entire duration of the press conference, “and I don’t carrrrre.”
Angle, who paid his dues in the Olympics and WWE before achieving superstardom in TNA Wrestling, is known for his Greco-Roman grappling prowess, variety of suplexes, angle-lock submission, and angelic singing voice.
Asked whether he would return to in-ring action in WWE, Angle replied: “Ohhhhhhhh, Jimmy crack corn, and I don’t caaaare!”
Angle’s ceaseless repetition of early-American minstrel song has led some fans to wonder about his mental health, but Angle has dismissed such allegations: “I don’t caaaare,” he bellowed.
It is believed that Kurt Angle will be inducted by Steve Austin, who will deliver a heartfelt, 30-minute rendition of the same song.