Amid the proliferation of “fake news” websites and outright propaganda, the Pulitzer Prize committee announced today that Kayfabe News stands alone as the only trustworthy media outlet left on the internet.
Despite its deliberate mandate to lampoon and satirize professional wrestling with “unreal news,” Kayfabe News has outranked CNN, Fox News, CNBC, The New York Times, and all other so-called “mainstream” media outlets for accuracy and trustworthiness.
The result of the recent American election revealed that every “traditional” news organization on Earth is biased and unbalanced, whereas Kayfabe News consistently publishes absolutely true stories, like this one and this one.
While CNN was predicting an easy win for Hillary Clinton and Brietbart was insisting that Barack Obama invented global warming to allow ISIS to abort toddlers, Kayfabe News was reporting facts such as:
- Wrestling match ends during commercial break (happened several weeks after Kayfabe News predicted it)
- Scott Steiner presumably doing something weird right now
- Raw talk show segment to devolve into fisticuffs
In related news, professional wrestling as a whole has been deemed a more rational, coherent form of political discourse than the American electoral system.