WWE’s Director of Operations, Kane, got a pleasant surprise this morning when he arrived at the company’s Connecticut headquarters to discover his colleagues had bought him a new mug declaring him the “World’s Greatest Pyromaniac Necrophiliac Former Dentist.”
Kane [surname unknown], who is definitely not the alter-ego of a marauding masked demon hellbent on terrorizing Seth Rollins, was so flattered by the gesture that he promised his coworkers there would be no inter-office immolations for the rest of the week.
Finding such a specific mug was a tricky task for Kane’s executive assistant, Gladys Vick, whose younger sister briefly dated Kane before the relationship ended mysteriously two decades ago.
“It turns out that there aren’t very many pyromaniac necrophiliac former dentists out there,” said Vick. “Technically, Kane probably is the best one.”
Last year, Kane’s coworkers congratulated him on a career milestone with a cake, which had to be extra-large to account for all the icing needed to write: “Congratulations on your heel turn, face turn, heel turn, face turn, heel turn, face turn, heel turn, face turn, and heel turn!”