Gallagher puts self in submission hold so complex even he can't reverse it - Kayfabe News twitter google

Gallagher puts self in submission hold so complex even he can’t reverse it

Jack Gallagher moves

Jack Gallagher struggles to escape his own hold.

British professional wrestler and extraordinary gentleman Jack Gallagher got himself into what he called “a right cock-up” today when he trapped himself inexplicably in an artful hold of his own creation.

“Well bollocks,” exclaimed the pasty-skinned submission specialist. “It appears I’ve royally buggered this one!”

Gallagher inadvertently hooked himself in the “Quadruple-Underhook Foppish Dandylock Toodle-oo,” a grappling maneuver so ingeniously complicated that Gallagher himself was incapable of devising an escape.

“I must confess, I feared I may remain trapped in that predicament for a full fortnight,” said Gallagher after he was freed by a team of WWE referees with a tub of butter. “I looked a right wanker, I’m afraid.”

Gallagher says he is looking forward to this Sunday’s Royal Rumble match, during which in intends to entwine all 29 other competitors in a move called the “Dickensian Windsor Knot.”

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