Legendary professional wrestler The Undertaker was dumbstruck this morning when, while casually surfing Facebook, he happened upon a post about his upcoming WrestleMania showdown against Shane McMahon.
“That can’t be right,” grumbled the Phenom, assuming that the article — like the vast majority of wrestling news online — was based on no credible evidence.
“Shane hasn’t been in WWE in years, for crying out loud,” he added.
The Undertaker doesn’t regularly watch Monday Night Raw, because it conflicts with weekly meetings of his book club in Death Valley, so he had not seen the surprise return of WWE heir, nor the announcement of the WrestleMania bout.
So the Deadman was gobsmacked when his wife, Michelle McCool, confirmed the news, and told him that the outcome of the match — a Hell in a Cell match, no less — will determine if Shane will seize control of WWE from his father, Vince.
“Well that’s just silly,” said the Undertaker. “The only thing sillier would be putting Roman Reigns in the main event against, I dunno, Triple H.”
McCool didn’t have the heart to tell her husband about that part.