Two of World Wrestling Entertainment’s most popular performers, Hornswoggle and El Torito, were released from their contracts today after random testing revealed they were violation of the company’s controversial Tallness Policy.
The diminutive duo — best known for their epic WeeLC battle in 2014 — were reportedly nabbed in a backstage height test, which required them to stand next to a wooden cutout of Daffy Duck emblazoned with the words “You must be at least this tall to sports-entertain.”
According to backstage sources, Hornswoggle tried to cheat on the test by standing on his tippytoes, while El Torito protested that the test should measure to the top of his horns, not his scalp.
Tens of thousands of fans have already signed an online petition opposing the dismissal, suggesting that El Torito could be repackaged as the living embodiment of Kevin Owens’ tattoo, while Hornswoggle would make a perfect love interest for Becky Lynch.
In related news, Santino Marella has also been released from WWE, because the world is a cruel and unjust place that God has forsaken.