Hulk Hogan didn’t waste any time finding a way to spend his newfound wealth: the legendary pro wrestler has used his winnings from a recent lawsuit to purchase his former employer, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).

The Wall Street Journal broke the news this morning that Hogan paid an estimated $135 million for the company — a surprisingly low valuation for the sports-entertainment juggernaut — and is now the sole owner of its copyrights, talent roster, turnbuckle stuffing, video library, network, ice cream bars, and vast spandex warehouses.

Asked by reporters why he purchased the company, Hogan said he wished to tell his brother something:

“Things are gonna be different around here, brother,” he said. He then added, after pensive pause, “dude.”

Hogan then listed a number of changes to the company, effective immediately:

• The company name will revert to World Wrestling Federation
• The main event of WrestleMania next Sunday will feature Triple H versus Hulk Hogan
• The new Chief Financial Officer will be Irwin R. Schyster
• America the Beautiful will be sung at WrestleMania by Brooke Hogan
• The new General Manger of Raw will be Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, and the Smackdown General Manager will be Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Hart
• The New Orleans Super Dome will be renamed the Silverdome
• NXT will be cancelled to make room for re-runs of Thunder in Paradise

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