The almighty creator of the universe, God, recently reminisced with fondness about tagging with Shawn Michaels to battle the McMahons at Backlash 2006.
“What a night,” mused the all-knowing deity. “I mean, just being booked in the main event was a blast in itself, but to actually beat Shane and Vince — I was, like, OMS — Oh My Self!”
God admitted that He was skeptical of the idea at first, wondering if his first appearance on earth should instead be in a church or other religious site.
“But when HBK asks you to be his tag partner, you accept!” explained His Magnificence. “I felt like a Marty Jannetty out there, except supremely holy and powerful.”
Some wrestling fans criticized God for appearing only as a bright white spotlight at the event, and failing to intervene when Shawn Michaels was suffering a beating at the hands of the McMahons.
To these critics, God responded: “First of all, I appeared as a spotlight because I didn’t want to totally steal Shawn’s thunder. If I manifested in my true form, there would be way too much kneeling and worshipping — not to mention stigmata and speaking in tongues and all that stuff.”
While God didn’t get the opportunity to execute His signature move — a springboard corkscrew moonsault He calls “The Old Testament” — He said he has no regrets about the match, or any other aspect of His creation.
Asked whether He would ever wrestle again, God was evasive: “Well, I have the entire universe to govern and maintain in celestial harmony, so I don’t have as much time for the WWE Universe,” he said. “Then again, someone has to break the ‘Taker’s streak.”