Front-yard wrestling craze puts youth violence in full view - Kayfabe News twitter google

Front-yard wrestling craze puts youth violence in full view

Front yard wrestling

To the embarrassment of their parents, a bunch of teenage boys perform a sloppy and dangerous "wrestling" match right where all the neighbors can see it.

Parent groups across America are rallying to put a stop to the current front-yard wrestling craze, in which adolescent youth perform dangerously sloppy wrestling matches in full view of the neighbors.

“The backyard wrestling fad of the 1990s was bad enough, but at least it was hidden away,” said Helen Cranston, president of the newly formed Not In My Front Yard (NIMFY) Coalition.

“But now everyone can see my son Tyler doing ungainly moonsaults onto old mattresses — it’s embarrassing.”

Whereas backyard wrestling gained media notoriety in the 1990s as an underground pastime in which untrained teenagers bloodied themselves for fun, front-yard wrestling has emerged during the era of social media, in which any moron can post a lame video to YouTube.

“It’s shocking — my house is in those videos!” lamented Cranston. “I don’t want people seeing my son and his ugly friends pretending to fight in front of my house. The property values will plummet, and they’re mucking up my nice new sod.”

Concerned parent groups recently banded together to make a televised public service announcement called “Take it to the Basement, Son.”

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