After a year of hype, wrestling fans will finally find out tonight which preposterously showy and ineffective move is goofiest: the People’s Elbow or the Five-Knuckle Shuffle.

Advance online polls suggest the two manoeuvres are in a dead-heat for the title of Most Ridiculous; 52 per cent of voters say the The Rock’s People’s Elbow is superior in absurdity, while 48 per cent insist Cena’s Five-Knuckle Shuffle is the most laughable.

Most wrestling pundits insist the contest at WrestleMania is too close to call because the People’s Elbow and the Five-Knuckle Shuffle are so remarkably similar in their flagrant defiance of logic and believability.

Both moves involve unnecessarily bouncing off the ropes, halting over a downed opponent to pander to the crowd with exaggerated gestures, then dropping onto the opponent with barely enough force to squish a spider.

“It’s impossible to predict whose move will be crowned most ludicrous,” said wrestling analyst Stu Muschner. “That’s why this match is so exciting — the signature moves of these men are equally nonsensical. A showdown like this happens only once in a lifetime.”

Leave a Comment