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Eric Bischoff only answers questions with questions

Eric Bischoff

Eric Bischoff addresses TNA fans through a convoluted series of rhetorical questions.

Former wrestling promoter Eric Bischoff is afflicted with a rare speech disorder that forces him to answer questions with other questions.

“Do I ask questions for rhetorical emphasis? Sure I do,” Bischoff told Kayfabe News. “Does it get a bit annoying? Of course it does. Could I stop if I wanted? Hell no.”

According to linguistics expert Dr. Robert Roe of Harvard University, Bischoff suffers from a condition known Reflexive Interrogation Syndrome.

“Eric is compelled to rephrase questions in such a way that his answers to those questions seem more authoritative,” Roe said. “What’s more, he speaks the questions in a dismissive tone that others tend to find smarmy and arrogant. It’s quite tragic, really.”

Bischoff says he has always spoken in this manner, but sources close to him say the condition worsened dramatically when his WCW promotion was consistently outranking WWE in television ratings during the so-called “Monday Night Wars.”

“Was I proud that WCW was beating WWE every week? Of course I was,” said Bischoff. “Did I brag about it? Sure I did. Would I do things differently if given the chance? Absolutely not.”

When asked whether he has ever sought treatment for his speech disorder, Bischoff replied in typical fashion.

“Do I need to change the way I speak? Of course not. Does it give people the impression that I’m pompous? Sure it does. Am I actually pompous? You bet your ass I am.”

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