Furious over the unseasonably cool weather in New Jersey, where the annual WrestleMania event is being held in an outdoor stadium, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon has publicly fired God.
“You’rrrrrrrrrrrrrre firrrrrrrrrrrrred!” the sports entertainment mogul growled with a reddened face, shaking his fist at the heavens.
Although many of McMahon’s advisors warned him that it could be risky to stage an outdoor wrestling event in the American northeast in April, McMahon was dismissive for months.
“Nobody crosses the boss — not even the big man upstairs,” McMahon frequently told naysayers.
When it became obvious that WrestleMania would unfold amid brisk 55-degree temperatures — as opposed to 85-degree climes, as McMahon had demanded — he became outraged at the omnipotent creator of the universe.
WWE released an official statement on God’s termination, saying: “We wish God all the best on his future endeavors.”
God, who once tagged with Shawn Michaels to face Vince and Shane McMahon, is reportedly considering a surprise snowstorm for 7 p.m. Sunday.