Newly engaged professional wrestlers John Cena and Nikki Bella were puzzled today when they opened their front door to find a wrapped present, which seemed to be making a hissing noise, from a “J. Roberts.” 

The package, wrapped in red paper with a yellow bow, is one of many the couple has received since Cena proposed to Bella in the ring during a heartwarmingly romantic publicity stunt at WrestleMania 33, but the first to wiggle and rattle when nudged. 

“Well that’s odd,” said Cena, whose strict house rules require all gifts to be dropped off at the front gate with the security guard, Virgil. 

“Maybe it’s a kittycat,” suggested Bella. “Or JoJo!”

The courier who delivered the package, a longtime wrestling fan, wondered if it might be from Jake Roberts, who ruined the wedding reception of Randy Savage and Elizabeth with the gift of a live python. 

But Cena and Bella didn’t think of that possibility, and decided to accept the package in their kitchen. 

Although they agreed to unwrap the present on the count of three, venomous tragedy ensured when Cena unwrapped at two.