Fans attending Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling event Bound for Glory were shocked today when company figurehead Dixie Carter unmasked, revealing that she has actually always been WWE mogul Vince McMahon in disguise.
“It was me, Impact Zone!” McMahon cackled, eyes blazing. “It was me all along!”
During a power-drunk in-ring monologue, the Machiavellian genius of sports-entertainment explained the he created TNA as a “developmental” territory to groom up-and-coming talent like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and Bobby Roode.
“You people bought it, hook, line and sinker,” he roared. “And you have to admit, quite frankly, that I’m kind of hot as a lady.”
McMahon revealed TNA talent will henceforth perform on the WWE Network — in cartoon form, as the rival kids from across the lake at Camp TNA.