The depraved fanbase of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) are keenly anticipating tonight’s “Summerslam” pay-per-view event due to the promise of blood, urine, and vomit.
The morally bankrupt fans, who evidently share a unanimous fetish for bodily fluids, are looking forward to seeing perennial hero John Cena get pummelled until he oozes vital viscera.
“Brock Lesnar is going to literally kill Cena,” raved one monstrous fan on Twitter, “and then we get to watch Cena soil himself with his own blood, semi-digested food and bodily waste.”
Members of the so-called “Internet Wrestling Community,” or IWC, seem to be the most keen to witness Cena’s exsanguination, upchucking, and incontinence.
Earlier today, Lesnar upped the ante, promising to make Cena “ooze spinal fluid, poo, and menstruate,” but most wrestling fans agree that’s a bit too gross.