The yoga system developed and relentlessly promoted by former wrestler Diamond Dallas Page reportedly relieves the stress and tension caused by listening to Page shout encouragement on the instructional videos.

“I was skeptical when I bought the DDP Yoga package, but it works,” said one user during a new infomercial for the product.

“After an hour of listening to DDP’s gravelly voice yelling inspirational catch-phrases, the yoga was exactly what I needed to ease the tension.”

Most users of the system report that they felt fine before watching the instructional DVD, but Page’s incessant jabber caused stress and soreness, which the yoga then helped to remedy.

An uplifting online video depicts overweight veteran Arthur Boorman reclaiming his mobility thanks to the DDP Yoga system.

The secret to his success, according to a friend of Boorman’s, was “putting the TV on mute.”