Crying wrestling fan confesses it's no longer real to him, dammit - Kayfabe News twitter google

Crying wrestling fan confesses it’s no longer real to him, dammit

Still real to me

David Wills has changed his opinion of wrestling, but is still choked up about it.

Nearly a decade after he attained viral internet notoriety for a teary-eyed confession that professional wrestling is still real to him, dammit, an older and wiser David Wills has admitted that wrestling is, upon deeper reflection, no longer real to him, dammit.

At a recent wrestling convention in Spartanburg, South Carolina, Wills participated in a Q&A session with a group of decrepit retired wrestlers, addressing them over the shoddy P.A. system:

“I just wanna thank each and every one of y’all for all the entertainment,” said Wills, his voice cracking with emotion, “and now I appreciate that y’all’s wasn’t actually fighting for reals.”

Wills then stopped to wipe a tear from his cheek before blurting: “It’s no longer real to me, dammit!”

The 73 other fans assembled in the Spartanburg High School gymnasium applauded Wills for finally reaching the conclusion that professional wrestling, while physically demanding, is a theatrical spectacle that should not be construed as a legitimate competition.

After getting a consoling pat on the shoulder from a friend sitting to his right, Wills then thanked Vince McMahon for “sayin’ what needed to be said” in 1997 about pro wrestling’s status as a form of sports-entertainment, not a true sport.

Added Wills: “Dammit.”


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