A United States Congressional hearing convened this week to investigate allegations that Kayfabe News, long considered the world’s pre-eminent bastion of exemplary professional wrestling journalism, has published articles of “dubious factual credibility.”
“We have reason to believe that some, if not all, reportage in Kayfabe News has not been thoroughly fact-checked, and is perhaps even deliberately misleading,” said Congressman Harold Waxman, who previously investigated the absolutely preposterous allegations that some professional wrestlers have used anabolic steroids.
The allegations have sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, given the hitherto impeccable reputation of Kayfabe News for delivering hard-hitting, factually unassailable, Pulitzer-worthy wrestling journalism.
Among the articles the Congressional Hearing will examine this week for accuracy:
- Make-A-Wish Visit from Barrett Goes Poorly
- Lesnar Loses Championship at House Show
- Eddie Guerrero Returns After 8 Years of Playing Possum
- Inanimate Carbon Rod to Guest-Host Raw
- Wyatt Undergoes Exorcism
C.F. Hunter, editor-in-chief of Kayfabe News, calls the allegations of journalistic inaccuracy “slanderous poppycock,” and insists the publication “operates according to the same impeccable standards of honesty and integrity as WWE itself.”
Hunter urged the loyal readership of Kayfabe News to demonstrate their collective support for the publication by purchasing and wearing a new Kayfabe News t-shirt bearing the word “infallible,” for the low, low price of 13.99.
“That might seem like a cheap plug to sell merchandise.” Hunter added. “You’re goddamn right it is.”