World Wrestling Entertainment announced today that Cody Rhodes has been released from the company, though his moustache has been offered a generous five-year contract.
“We wish Mr. Rhodes the best in his future endeavors,” read a WWE press release issued this morning, “and we are proud to announce his moustache will remain with the company.
Although Rhodes had been enjoying a wave of success in his tag team with Damien Sandow, WWE bigwigs realized it was the moustache, not the wrestler, that was generating the most attention.
“That moustache puts asses in seats,” Vince McMahon reportedly told a backstage source. “Cody is like Marty Jannetty, the moustache is like Shawn Michaels.”
The moustache is expected to enter a main-event feud with Daniel Bryan’s beard. Bryan himself, meanwhile, is expected to be demoted to NXT soon.