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CM Punk’s sabbatical fails to produce a single academic paper

CM Punk sabbatical

CM Punk’s sabbatical has thus far been academically unproductive.

Several months into his sabbatical from World Wrestling Entertainment, tenured wrestler CM Punk has failed to even begin research for an academic paper.

Punk’s disappointing lack of academic activity has led WWE brass wondering whether he should have been granted sabbatical, or even tenure at all.

Whereas a sabbatical is typically a privilege afforded to academic faculty that allows for uninterrupted research and writing, Punk’s sabbatical has apparently been a self-righteous protest against some sort of perceived injustice.

“We were led to understand that Prof. Punk would use his sabbatical to conduct ethnographic research toward a paper to be published in prestigious academic journal,” said Dr. Leo Karsch, Dean of Academic Affairs at World Wrestling Entertainment.

“As far as we can tell, however, he has just stayed home, drank Pepsi, read comic books and watched footage of himself on the WWE Network.”

WWE’s Office of Academic Affairs is still optimistic, however, that Punk will eventually write and publish an academic treatise he proposed last year: “GrammarSlam: Identifying and Correcting Grammatical Miscommunication in the Digital Age.”

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