An article published today on sports news site Bleacher Report, which confirms that CM Punk’s return to WWE is “eminent,” was clearly written by someone who doesn’t know what words mean.
“WWE’s creative team is getting there (sic) ducks in a row so Punk’s long-waited (sic) return can illicit (sic) the biggest pop from fans,” reports Brad Regans, a 16-year-old “senior writer” for the site.
“Punk said he would never return to WWE on principal (sic), but its (sic) pretty much garunteed (sic) that he’ll once again walk that isle (sic). He’s going to be more over then (sic) ever.”
Although the article repeatedly (and incorrectly) claims Punk’s return is “eminent,” at one point his return is described as “immanent,” perhaps implying that Punk’s non-corporeal spirit will somehow inhabit WWE like a ghost in a haunted house.
The writer also confirms that Punk’s return will culminate in a “climatic” main-event match at WrestleMania — apparently having something to do with the weather.