CM Punk regrets “pipe bomb” reference in airport security line - Kayfabe News twitter google

CM Punk regrets “pipe bomb” reference in airport security line

CM Punk

CM Punk has vowed to choose his words more wisely in airport security lines.

Following a seven-hour interrogation by security guards at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport, CM Punk admitted he “probably shouldn’t have mentioned pipe bombs” in the security line.

“I explained that I was referring metaphorically to microphones, which become rhetorical pipe bombs when I deliver one of my trademark diatribes,” Punk said. “But the security officers thought I was making some sort of terrorist threat or something. Whoops.”

Punk’s plight was worsened when he sat cross-legged in the middle of the interrogation room and mentioned “the cult of personality,” which led security guards to believe he was the leader of a fringe religious sect.

While attempting to explain that he is a professional wrestler, Punk mentioned his signature maneuver, the Go To Sleep, which the security officials misconstrued as the codename for a mass cult suicide.

Punk was eventually freed from custody after he played his captors a YouTube video of his 2004 match against Samoa Joe, which reportedly elicited a “This is awe-some, clap-clap-clapclapclap” chant from the security squad.

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