Just one week shy of their much-hyped showdown at Summerslam, WWE superstars Brock Lesnar and John Cena have reached a peaceful truce through respectful dialogue and mutual respect.
“We’re just going to agree to disagree,” said Cena this morning at WWE press conference, where the Summerslam main event was officially cancelled.
“We both realized that violence is never the answer to anything.”
The fearsome Lesnar, a sociopathic simian renowned for remorseless brutality, was uncharacteristically friendly at the press conferences, politely answering reporters’ questions with a toothy smile.
“I’ve decided to give peace a chance,” quipped Lesnar. “John and I both have a responsibility to be positive role models for young people, so I’m encouraging everyone to avoid physical altercations whenever possible.”
Cena and Lesnar embraced one another at the conclusion of the press conference, walked offstage arm-in-arm, and visited a school together to deliver an anti-bullying talk.
The main event of Summerslam is now slated to be El Torito versus Hornswoggle in a lingerie pillow fight.