Brodus Clay’s momma wishes people would just text instead - Kayfabe News twitter google

Brodus Clay’s momma wishes people would just text instead

Although she appreciates the sentiment behind the frequent phone calls she receives, Brodus Clay’s momma admitted yesterday she would prefer text messages instead.

Brodus clay

Brodus Clay's momma (left) takes a moment away from the telephone to dance with her son.

“It sure would save a lot of time,” said momma, whose phone has been ringing off the hook since her son Brodus debuted in WWE several months ago.

Momma confessed that she barely has time to do anything but answer the phone — ever since her son began insisting that viewers of WWE program should call her. Mother’s Day was “a nightmare,” she said.

“A quick text would be fine,” she said. “Or nothing at all. No need to check in with me, thanks.”

A psychiatrist contacted by Kayfabe News explained that Brodus Clay likely has a kind of oedipal attachment to his mother, which fuels his desire for constant telephone contact with her.

An matriarchal attachment disorder would explain Clay’s desire to retreat into a make-believe world in which he is a dinosaur — the so-called Funkasaurus — and his urge to be surrounded by women who gyrate their ample backsides and wiggle their wide, matronly, child-bearing hips.

Clay’s papa, furthermore, abandoned the family 20 years ago, and never called Clay’s momma.

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