Proving once again that he is much more brawn than brains, professional wrestler Brock Lesnar shocked even his closest friends this week by egregiously misspelling his finishing maneuver, the F5.
During a rare appearance at an autograph and memorabilia expo in his native Minnesota this weekend, Lesnar was signing glossy 8×10 photos of himself when he wrote: “Feer da eff fiv” (presumably intending to say “Fear the F5”).
At first, Lesnar’s manager and mouthpiece Paul Heyman assumed the gargantuan brute had merely flubbed the spelling due to sloppy penmanship, but further mistakes convinced Heyman that his client is, in fact, functionally illiterate.
Lesnar misspelled his name when signing most of the autographs, with variations including “Brok Liznor,” “Burock Lessnir” and “Bork Laser.”
Lesnar’s limited intellect — and his penchant for shrill, high-pitched shrieking — lend credence to suggestions he is not actually a member of homo sapiens, but rather a lesser-evolved primate with unfathomable physical strength but the mental acuity of a toddler.
Heyman has responded t0 such claims by pointing out that Lesnar completed four years of college, to which most sensible people reply with fits of uproarious laughter.