Booty-Os, the breakfast cereal popularized by WWE faction The New Day, has been pulled from store shelves after testing by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) revealed large amounts of ICOPRO and other suspicious chemicals.
Although marketed as a nutritious and delicious way of making sure you ain’t booty, the cereal appears to have been concocted out of expired products from World Wrestling Entertainment’s Connecticut warehouse.
In addition to ICOPRO — a bodybuilding supplement shilled during Vince McMahon’s ill-fated and strangely erotic WBF venture — testing of Booty-Os revealed traces of other substances including:
– Buddy Rose’s “Blow Away Diet” powder
– Ingredients from WWF Ice Cream Bars
– Pulverized unicorn horns
– Baby oil and spray-tanner
– Godwinn slop
According to a report issued by the FDA this morning, “ingesting Booty-Os could make one nauseous and, if consumed in large quantities, booty.”