According to backstage sources at World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), tonight’s episode of Raw will feature live coverage of guest host Betty White giving birth to a prosthetic hand.
The 92-year-old comedienne and actress is rumored to be involved in a romantic relationship with Mark Henry, whose sexual predilection for elderly caucasian women is well documented.
Sources close to White report that she has been showing a “baby bump” for several weeks now, which seems to be in the shape of an adult hand.
Although giving birth to a prosthetic hand should be medically impossible — and televising such an abomination is in terrible taste — it is not without precedent.
In the late-1990s, legendary female wrestler Mae Young gave birth to a rubber hand after a torrid affair with Henry, who had earned the nickname “sexual chocolate.”
It is believed that Henry, grieving in the aftermath Young’s recent passing, sought solace in the embrace of a grey-haired woman of similar appearance and vintage.
Some critics have chastised World Wrestling Entertainment for broadcasting bizarre childbirth scenes involving old ladies and prosthetic limbs.
In order to avoid excess criticism, WWE will likely broadcast the segment during the second hour of Raw, when nobody is typically paying attention anyway.
Keep it Kayfabe: wear the shirt!