Their spirits broken after decades of having their intelligence insulted by illogical booking, fans of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) have just passively accepted the preposterous notion that certain maneuvers will be banned during a steel cage match at this weekend’s Extreme Rules pay-per-view.

The fans, who once might have vehemently objected to such oxymoronic matchmaking, are now so helplessly accustomed to shoddy booking that they raised no concern about Randy Orton’s “RKO” maneuver being banned in what is, by definition, an anything-goes type of match.

“Meh,” the WWE Universe (the monicker under which fans have collectively allowed themselves to be branded by a corporation) sighed in unison.

Since the dawn of professional wrestling, steel cage matches have marked the climax of a crescendoing feud — a no-holds-barred spectacle of unmitigated violence in which no rules apply.

According to WWE’s matchmaking logic (or lack thereof), Orton could legally disembowel with a samurai sword during the match, but will be disqualified if he attempts to use his modified jumping cutter, the RKO.

Fans have also blithely accepted the promise that the steel cage will prevent outside interference from J&J Security, despite the cage’s zero-percent success rate at preventing outside interference.

 

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