Thousands of American citizens fleeing the dystopian nightmare their country will become under President Donald Trump have received an unwelcome greeting from a cattle prod-wielding Mountie.
“I am the Mountie,” the mouthy Quebecois cop has been heard to holler while zapping would-be American defectors.
“And I always get my maaaaan!”
Although long known for friendly relations with the United States and its open immigration policies (which, for example, would never ban members of a certain religion, because that would be preposterous), Canada has become more restrictive ever since putting its border under the control of The Mountie.
According to American refugees seeking shelter in Canada, The Mountie is sometimes joined by his moustachioed brother, Raymond, and occasionally by a shrill pipsqueak with a megaphone.
The Mountie has reportedly had a nasty attitude toward Americans ever since an altercation with a burly prison guard from Cobb County, GA.